Attachment vs Separateness

October 4th
HIDING FROM LOVE

Chapter 4 – Our need for Attachment

How well are you able to attach to people?
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:34
Whatever is taking up emotional energy, money, and time can be a bonding substitute. Which of the following attachment substitutes, if any, have you chosen? How has it worked in your life to help you avoid feelings of need and vulnerability? Work, Sexuality, Sports, Shopping, Hobbies, Religious activities, Food, Knowledge/information, Parenting, Rescuing or “one-way”relationships.


Chapter 5 – Our need for Separateness

Many of us have difficulty, sometimes, filtering out other people’s needs from our own. Do you experience problems in “keeping up” with all your responsibilities? Do you live with a sense of being overwhelmed by the demands of life? Do you tend to feel controlled by the needs and crises of others? Is it hard to filter out your own needs?
On a scale from 1 (No problem) to 10 (Impossible), how easy is it for you to set boundaries? Which do you find easier, taking care of yourself or taking care of there?

Plan B

September 27th
HIDING FROM LOVE

Chapter 3 – This Wasn’t in Plan A
Some of us hide our mistakes and failures, while others have learned to share them and bring them to the light of relationship. When do you find yourself using one or the other style? Where did you learn either to hide your mistakes or accept your failures?
Maturing growth is moving from a good place to a better place. It is, for example, finding someone to care deeply about and finding our love deepening further or having a passion for a job and deepening our satisfaction in it. What example of maturing growth have you seen in someone’s life or, ideally, experienced yourself?
Maturing growth deals with our “on schedule” parts. Restoring growth deals with our “behind schedule” parts. In light of this comparison, what growth do you need to do? If possible, give a specific example or two for each category.
When, if ever, has your immaturity or the parts of you that are “not yet finished”, brought you love? Describe that experience-or its opposite: a time when making mistakes has brought shaming, condemnation, or even rejection.

Hide and seek

September 20th
HIDING FROM LOVE

Chapter 1 – Jenny’s Story
1. What fears and/or confusion keep you choosing to stay hidden in your own “Deep Woods of life”?
2. What situations in life make you feel inadequate to solve problems or make decisions? Whose advice or past presence in your life offers you some encouragement or direction in those situations?
3. What situations do you experience today that are familiar from your past; keep you running and hiding from those who might be friends?
4. Who in your life, if anyone, might be able to lead you out of the Woods? What would it take to ask that person for help?

Campfire at the Quirings

BLUE BOX CAMPFIRE
Henry & Paddy Quiring
667-0800
611 Bonner Avenue
6:00 – 10:00 pm
Pick up at WCV at 5:30
Friday September 22nd

The focus is to get together and enjoy each others company.
Including: Barbeque on the deck, worship, campfire stories,
and leadership equipping.
Bring yourself and a friend with either a salad or desert for dinner.

New Session

Wednesday Evenings 6:45 – 9:15
September 20th – December 6th

Hiding From Love discusses
* Our “two biggest problems related to love”
* “Helpful and harmful types of hiding”
* “Hope for those in hiding”

When you experience emotional injury, fear, shame, or pride, your first impulse is to hide the hurting parts of yourself from God, others, and even yourself. Often, you’ve learned these hiding patterns during childhood to protect yourself in a threatening environment. The problem is that when you hide your injuries and frailties, you isolate yourself from the very things you need in order to heal and mature. What served as protection for a child becomes a prison to an adult.

Your discovery
* The difference between “good” and “bad” hiding
* Why you hide the broken parts of your soul from the God who can heal them
* How to be free to make mistakes without fear of exposing your failure and perfections.
* How to obtain the joy and wholeness God intends you to have through
healthy bonding with others.

Dinner Night Out

Wednesday September 13th

The focus for our wind-up session is to get together and enjoy each others company. Including: Dinner, worship, inspirational stories, and leadership equipping. Pot luck dinner will make the cooking entertaining and intriguing. Bring yourself and a friend with your favorite dish.

Reflection's of the past year ...........

1. How Successful am I?
I would be more successful if…
2. How significant am I?
I would be more significant if…
3. How fulfilled am I?
I would be more fulfilled if...
4. How satisfied am I?
I would be more satisfied if…
5. How happy am I?
I would be happier if...
6. How much fun am I having?
I would have more fun if…
7. How secure am I?
I would be more secure if…
8. How peaceful am I?
I would have more peace if…

1. Success (Key Concept: Goals)
Success is accepting God's goals for our lives and by His grace,
becoming what He has called us to be (Joshua 1: 7-8, 2Peter 1:3-10, 3 John 2).
2. Significance (Key Concept: Time)
What is forgotten in the passing of time is of little significance.
What is remembered for eternity is of greatest significance.
(Acts 5:33-40, 1 Corinthians 3: 13, I Timothy 4: 7-8)
3. Fulfillment (Key Concept: Role Preference)
Fulfillment is discovering our own uniqueness in Christ and using our gifts to build
others up and glorify the Lord. (Matthew 25: 14-30, Romans 12: 1 -18, 2 Timothy 4:5.
4. Satisfaction (Key Concept: Quality)
Satisfaction is living righteously and seeking to raise the quality of the relationships,
services and products with which we are involved (Proverbs 18: 24, Matthew 5:5, 2 Timothy 4:7)
5. Happiness (Key Concept: Wanting What You Have)
Happiness is being thankful for what we do have rather than focusing on what we
don’t have (Phillippians 4:12, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, 1 Timothy 6 :6-7)
6. Fun (Key Concept: Uninhibited Spontaneity)
The secret to fun is removing unbiblical blocks such as keeping up appearances
2 Samuel 6: 20-22, Romans 14:22, Galatians 1: 10, 5: 1).
7. Security (Key Concept: Relating to the Eternal)
Insecurity comes when we depend on things that will pass away rather than on
things that will last forever (John 10: 27-29, Romans 8: 31-39, Ephesians 1: 13-14)
8. Peace (Establishing Internal Order)
The peace of God is internal not external (Isaiah 32: 17, Jeremiah 6: 14, John 14: 27, Philippians 4: 6-7) *Peace on Earth is what we want. *Peace with God is something we already have. *Peace of God is something we need.

Stay tuned for the introduction of September's session
"Hiding from Love" by Dr John Townsend